My Life's Joys in A Nutshell

u-kill-me-in-a-good-way:

violettesilence:

jesuislegrandefromage:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

hotdamnope:

kangiku:

the 12 year olds on this website get really mad if you point out the fact that they’re 12

r u serious 

NOT EVERY 12 OLD GETS REALLY ANGRY

jesues sometimes people are just so dumb ughh

this is almost as fun as playing spot the vegan.

Spot the vegan? Yeah…the vegan is the one who isn’t killing or harming animals just because “They taste good.”

Found the vegan.

(Source: enmu)

poopflow:

seein a hot girl and being like 

lieutenant-kevin-riley:

suicidallyreckless:

fuckyeahauthordog:

case-for-eviction:

Do you ever think about the word ‘can’t’

Like, when you say, “Why can’t you get me some ice cream?”

You’re really saying, “Why can not you get me some ice cream?”

How have I gone through my entire life as a writer and not realized this

I had a similar epiphany with “Don’t you dare” being “Do not you dare.”

English is weird.

Forever grateful that English is my first language.

(Source: igenerallylikewords)

moltres:

overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

ship-all-the-gay:

so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them.

they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly

I think the factory workers need help

justintheallan:

soycrates:

endreal:

avatar-addiction:

nicotineenema:

Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually

shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl 

shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg

shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in  a happy, friendly tone.

Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.