thespookerhero: jesusthelastairbender: mom….gay…. i’m dad i’m so son of you, proud
u-kill-me-in-a-good-way: violettesilence: jesuislegrandefromage: montypythonandtheholyblog: hotdamnope: kangiku: the 12 year olds on this website get really mad if you point out the fact that they’re 12 r u serious NOT EVERY 12 OLD GETS REALLY ANGRY jesues sometimes people are just so dumb ughh this is almost as fun as playing spot the vegan. Spot the vegan? Yeah…the vegan...
poopflow: seein a hot girl and being like
lieutenant-kevin-riley: suicidallyreckless: fuckyeahauthordog: case-for-eviction: Do you ever think about the word ‘can’t’ Like, when you say, “Why can’t you get me some ice cream?” You’re really saying, “Why can not you get me some ice cream?” How have I gone through my entire life as a writer and not realized this I had a similar epiphany with “Don’t you dare” being “Do not you...
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
ship-all-the-gay: so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them. they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly I think the factory workers need help
justintheallan: soycrates: endreal: avatar-addiction: nicotineenema: Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone. Shout out to Guinea Pigs which...
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
theuntalentedsinger: colfr: so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat Yes those are dolphins and shells. But wait until you open the fucking thing Oh yes my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT I am so fucking done at least you can pee in the middle of the night without turning on the bathroom light
fuckwooper: money is so stupid and unnecessary we’re meat creatures on a rock floating in space and our entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper
ofsherlock: ofsherlock: tumblr spelt backward is rlbmut and if you put it in google translate it would change it to rummut which in finnish means drums and if you translate drums into chinese it says 鼓 which also means kettle and a kettle is hot and what else is also hot? yes that’s right HELL coincidence? i think noT guys come on i researched things on google translate for this
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: the-dalek-in-221b: asphyxion: i went to a high school where they played jeopardy music when you had about 30 seconds to get to class and i shit you not best part of the day was seeing kids sprinting to class with this music playing My old school did this but it got better because they put the James Bond theme song with it. It was awesome. THIS IS THE ONE...